15 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
by KynthiaOlympia
Summary: Crack-fic of The heroes of Earthrealm and my OC's Kynthia and Deja Vu wreck havoc at the place that rules the world: Wal-Mart... The list is also on my profile page, and Rated T for cussing, violence, and implied couples.


_**15 things to do at Wal-Mart**_

_**By: kynthiathegoddessofpercabeth01**_

_**AN: Hey this is going to be a Mortal Kombat Fic, and the list of "15 things to do at Wal-Mart" is on my profile if you go looking for it.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything…**_

_**(Narrator's POV)**_

It was an ordinary day for the warriors of Earthrealm. Liu Kang was flipping through channels, Sonya, Johnny, and Jax training together, Kabal and Stryker were playing cards, Kung Lao and Jade were flirting, Kitana was taking a nap, Smoke and Sub-Zero were just laying eagle-sprawl on the floor, Nightwolf was reading a novel, and Raiden was meditating. Suddenly two people appear out of nowhere, two girls land on top of each other. They both get up; dusting themselves off completely unaware that they're being watched. They both look up, and their eyes go wide, as Sonya, Jax, and Johnny come into the room, wondering what about all the commotion was about.

"Oh my gods, you're the defenders of Earthrealm." One of the girls stated calmly. She had waist length platinum white hair, and dark purple eyes, with a tall, slightly muscular, tan body with curves and large "assets" in a black and purple bodysuit, and black 3 inch heeled combat boots with purple soles and laces,. The other one was shorter with a willowy figure with pale skin short black hair, and a pair of shorts, converse, and a crop top all in navy blue or black.

"Who are you and where did you come from?" Raiden demands

The taller one pipes up "Well I'm Kynthia _**(That's me)**_, and my friend Déjà vu." She says pointing to the pale girl. "And we have come from Earthrealm, I don't know how because I simply wished to be here and here I am."

Raiden and the crew nods, not seeming at all surprised.

"Well I have a list that I would love to complete with you guys if you're up to the challenge…" Déjà vu drawls, and the Kombatants look intrigued

"What is on this list?" Nightwolf asks and Kynthia laughs while saying "It's called 15 things to do at Wal-Mart; and Wal-Mart is a store-chain in Earthrealm."

All of the Kombatants agree and Kynthia snaps her fingers, and three cars pop up. One is a normal looking grey minivan that seats about 8. The second one was a small four-seater Prius, and the last one was a 2010 model Ferrari California in matte white that seats two people. "Okay Nightwolf, Kabal, Stryker, and Déjà vu into the Prius, Deja you drive."

"Jade, Kitana, Liu Kang, Kung Lao, Raiden, Jax, Sub-Zero, and Smoke into the van, and Raiden you drive."

"Sonya, and Johnny you'll have to share a seat in my Ferrari, and I'll drive…" Kynthia explains tossing the other keys to Raiden and Deja. Johnny looks a happy as a kid on Christmas while Sonya looks like she doesn't care but thanks to Kynthia's powers, the white-haired girl knows that Sonya likes the seating arrangement. They all pile into the cars Kynthia assigned, and they stepped on it. They travelled through a desert before hitting the portal to Earthrealm. In the minivan utter chaos was unfolding will lots of arguing, the inhabitants of the Prius were dying of the driver's horrible singing, and the group in the Ferrari were: drinking ice cold sodas, having the wind blowing in their hair, wearing aviator's or Johnny-Knoxville's, playing and singing to some catchy music.

When arriving at Wal-Mart, the three cars' riders came out in different fashions. The van's people were falling out or shoving each other out of the door to reach fresh air and wide open space. The Prius' people were rocking back and forward traumatized from the car ride there, and Raiden had to fix them. Last the Ferrari's people were looking like gods strutting out of the car with Johnny's arm around Sonya's shoulders, and Kynthia smirking at the two other groups.

"So… how was your ride?" Johnny asked and everyone else glared at him causing Sonya and Kynthia to laugh. They all head inside ignoring some of the odd looks they get when people see what the girls are wearing, or that Johnny Cage is there, or there are men with weird masks on.

When they hit the middle of the store, Kynthia turns to Deja and have a quick telepathic conversation with her before Deja says "Everyone pick a number between 1-15, and go…" she points to smoke

1- Sub- zero

2- Raiden

3- Smoke

4- Jax

5- Déjà vu

6- Kung Lao

7- Jade

8-Nightwolf

9- Stryker

10- Johnny

11- Sonya

12- Kynthia

13- Liu Kang

14- Kabal

15- Kitana

_Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals._

"You're up Subs!" Kynthia yells, and shoves the blue clad Lin Kuei towards the electronics section. The ninja stumbled around for a bit before finding the alarm button on the clock. He runs up the entire aisle pressing for the clocks to blare "All About that Bass" by Meghan Trainor every 5 minutes at top volume.

Xx 5 Minutes Later xX

"_Because you know I'm all about that bass, bout' that bass no treble" _Was heard throughout the store, and one very happy Kynthia was dancing like a boss with a crowd formed around her. Several employees ran to stop the haywire alarm clocks, and The Kombatants used this as an opportunity to do number 2 on the list.

_Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms._

"Raiden your turn!" Deja calls out as the Thunder God steps forward. He runs over to the food sections and finds 3 large jars of tomato juice, and grabs them all, opening them with a small lightning strike. He takes the first one and moves in a single trail a third of the way into the bathroom, and takes the other two and smashes them onto the ground, before running out. The group waits for 2 minutes before hearing a scream "Oh my god there's blood!" they end up laughing their asses off before going to do #3.

_Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens._

Smoke steps forward, and smirks "Watch this he teleports a few feet away behind an employee, stacking medicine on the shelf. Smoke taps her shoulder and she jumps dropping the bottle of Pepto-Bismol she had in her hand; the pink liquid forming a puddle on the floor.

"Excuse me Miss, but the manager wanted me to let someone know that there's been a 'Code 3 in housewares'" and the girls eyes got as big as saucers.

She pulls out a walkie-talkie, and yell "We have a Code 3 in Housewares… I repeat Code 3 in Housewares!" she ends up taking off faster than the roadrunner. They then move on to #4.

_Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away._

We all look at Jax, and he looks mad "Great now people are going to think I'm ghetto…" Liu Kang pats him on the back but Jax just narrows his eyes, causing Liu Kang to back off. Déjà vu is just secretly laughing to herself as these dares go on.

Jax walks up to a check-out station, with a bored-looking cashier playing on his phone.

"Hey…" Jax says but the cashier doesn't move his eyes from his screen

"Hey yo I'm talking to you…" Jax says again but the cashier ignores him once again. Jax was getting annoyed so he took the phone from the cashier and chucked it at a nearby wall.

"Dude I had just reached level 174 of Flappy Bird not cool man!"

"Oh that's harsh…" Raiden mutters being a little louder than he thought and noticed the entire group was looking at him strangely.

"I may have played Flappy Bird for a time… it was a dark time, I kind of got addicted to that game…" Raiden explains, and Kynthia looks over at Deja and shouts "Yeah boy told you that retarded game is addicting and worthless!" then proceeds to dance like a boss again while Deja pulls out a phone and starts playing Flappy Bird. "By accident" Kynthia had somehow did a high kick resembling a cheerleaders; and ends up kicking the phone into the air and onto the ground into a million pieces.

"NOOOOO!" Deja shouts while falling to her knees weeping over her phone and Flappy Bird, while Kynthia keeps dancing completely unaware of what she had done. Some of the group was comforting Deja, while the others were cheering and watching Kynthia dance like a boss.

"So can I have this bag put on layaway?" Jax asks and everyone turns back to the momentarily forgotten dare

"No we don't do layaway, what are you ghetto?" the cashier sneers, and before things can get bloody Kynthia steps in and snaps her fingers in front of the cashier's eyes and chanting "Kynthia Olympia Alpha… you won't remember anything of this, it will be silly dream you had…" and she snapped again and the cashier shook his head like he had been asleep.

"Uhh… can I help you with something?" he asks Kynthia and Jax

"Umm… no sorry you were passed out so my companion and I wanted to make sure you were okay…" Kynthia lied through her teeth so well she could fake out any form of lie-detector.

"Alright have a nice day!" he says with a sheepish tone in his voice.

Kynthia and Jax walk away from the check-out line, leaving awed friends starring at them.

"What was that you did with the finger snap?" Kitana asked

"That's a special trick she can do called the Mist, it can alter the mind of mortals, demigods, demons, gods, etc." Deja explained

"But what are you Kynthia, of you don't mind me asking?" Kabal questioned

"Not at all, I'm actually the Greek Goddess of immortality, moonlight, and dancing, and the only daughter of Artemis by herself…" Kynthia explains and everyone looks impressed. "All right let's start on #5…" she continues pulling out the list.

_Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area._

"Deja it's your turn!" Jade singsong and the tiny pale girl smirks impishly before sprinting towards the janitor's closet. She pulls a booby pin out of her bra, and jams it into the keyhole. She jiggles the pin until she hears the click of a lock, and pulls. A set of cleaning supplies were revealed, and she pulls out a yellow 'Caution. Wet Floor" sign. She runs over to a clothing isle with a carpeted floor, and dumps a gallon of water all over the carpet and placed the sign down.

~A few minutes later~

A little kid was running around the area, and trips into the water-soaked carpet.

"Mommy I fell into pee-pee!" the kid cries, and his mother shrieks at the top of her lungs, unknowing that it was only water. The group was laughing so hard they were on the verge of peeing themselves.

"Okay, now let's do #6." Sonya states after the group calmed down a bit.

_Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department._

Kung Lao hands Liu Kang his hat to hold onto, while he did his dare. He found a tent that had a sun roof flap, and a built in fire pit. He set it up in the middle of a walkway and ended up waiting for a total of 3 minutes before he heard voices.

"Excuse me!" he hollered and two teenage girls stuck their heads into the tent and their eyes got large.

"If you would like to come in would you mind getting some pillows from the bedding department?" he asked and the two girls could only nod before shoving each other out of the way trying to get there first. Kung Lao listened and could hear a faint "Holy hell he's so hot, he's mine!" or "Hell no, he's going to be mine, I call dibs!" Kung Lao decided it would be best to make his escape now, and he heard his friends LOLing from 10 feet away.

_When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"_

Jade takes a deep breath and walks a short distance away from a male store employee, she then starts making sounds of irritation and distress. The employee noticed the scantily clad woman in green, and went over with the intentions to either get her in his bed or on a date with him.

"Excuse me ma'am can I help you with anything?" he said in a seductive manner, but got an unexpected reaction

"Ahhh… why can't you fucking annoying assholes leave me alone?!" Jade sobs while falling to her knees, imitating Deja and the loss of her phone. The worker got really uncomfortable, and decided to leave. When he left, Jade sat up laughing like a maniac, along with her friends. Kung Lao offered her a hand, and she took it being pulled up.

Sonya gave her a hug, and Johnny gave her a high-five for the great acting skill.

_Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror, and pick your nose._

Nightwolf grunts at his boring but safe dare and walks over to the lowest security camera. He sticks his finger deep in his nose, and shifts it around a little bit, before wiping his finger on his clothes before joining the group.

_While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are._

Stryker strolls up to the hunting department, and picks up a Savage 25 Lightweight Varminter .17 Hornet. He pretends to aim, and puts the gun down looking proud, as a clerk walks over.

"Nice shot man!" the clerk compliments

"Thanks, I think this'll be the lucky winner I'll take…" Stryker says

'Alright sir, I'll go wrap that up for you…" but he was cut off by Stryker

"Oh wait, do you know where the anti-depressants are?" Styker asked innocently and the clerk looked afraid for his life.

"Uh they're 3 rows down… How about I wrap this up for you back here, while you get your medicine?" The clerk asked and Stryker nodded and turned the corner, before running back to his friends who were choking on their laughter.

_Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme._

Johnny put on his glasses and whispered "Alright its Showtime!" Johnny started around the perimeter of the store and he was humming pretty loudly, as he tuck and rolls, or backflips, or other ninja moves. Suddenly you hear "Oh my god, its Johnny Cage!" and a roar of feminine squeals. A mob of teenage girls, middle-age women, and mid-twenty aged women had appeared and were trying to catch the movie star. Johnny started to run harder and faster jumping over objects to try and dodge the crazy fangirls. The group looks at the scene with horror, humor, and in Sonya's case anger. Kynthia knew if Johnny slowed down or something happended and the crowd didn't disperse they might loose Johnny. Kynthia looks to Sonya and telepathicly barks a command in her head, telling her it was the only way to save Johnny. Sonya nods, and takes off running in the opposite direction of the mob, and Kynthia teleports them where they see Sonya standing where Johnny is trying to run. The Special Forces lieutenant grabbed the movie star's shirt collar, and smashed her lips onto his. Everyone was stunned except Kynthia who was secretly recording this. They pull apart to notice the mob of fangirls are gone. Sonya struts back to the group with a smirk and Johnny looks confused as hell.

_In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels._

Sonya facepalmed herself for choosing 11, but none of the less she went over to the auto department and put on the biggest funnel size she could find. An douchebag walked by and tried to touch Sonya innapropiately.

"Hey baby, how about you and me my place?" he asked

"No thanks, not in a million years!" she exclaiumed but the asshole just didn't get the hint, and kept trying. The group was giving Sonya her space but Kynthia sensed something was off.

"I will telepathically signal you if something is wrong... I'm going to check on Sonya." Kynthia addresses the group. Kynthia heads into the auto department. There she sees Sonya pushing away Mr. Douchebag, and she call "Sonya, you okay Johnny and I have been worried?"

Mr. Douchebag said "Johnny, wow slut I didn't know you had a boyfriend…"

Sonya looked pissed "First of I don't, and second you were the one coming on to me!" the guy was getting mad, but Kynthia had already signaled Johnny and Jax.

"Whatever bitch you're an ugly slut anyway…" Mr. Douchebag had run into Johnny's rock hard chest.

"What did you call my friend?" Johnny growled, and Mr. Douchebag smirked "Wouldn't you like to know."

Kynthia socked him in the face so hard they heard a crunch, Jax punched him in the stomach so hard Mr. Douchebag almost vomited. Sonya snapped his arm so hard the bone probably shattered, and Johnny did what he was most famous for: he punched Mr. Douchebag in his nuts. It's likely that he won't be walking right for weeks. Johnny slung his arm around Sonya's shoulder as they walked back for #12.

_Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"_

Kynthia hides in one of the children's clothing isle and waits until someone opened the clothe before shouting "Ahhh… PICK ME!" and he person was so scared they fainted.

_When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream... "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"_

Liu Kang waited in a crowded place nearby a speaker, when you hear _"Clean up on Isle 17…"_ and the piercing shriek of Liu Kang "NO! NO! It's the voices again, please leave me alone!" This act cause children to piss their pants and parent to run around in chaos.

_Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"_

Kabal walks into one of the changing rooms whistling a merry tune, and walks into one of the rooms. He waits for 3 minutes before shouting "There' no toilet paper in her!" and disappear before hearing a shriek of fear.

_Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"_

Kitana roams the toy isle looking for what she was seeking, and found 3 bouncy red balls. She throws them hard against the ground shouting theatrically "Pikachu I choose you!" and running away when she heard little kids running her way. The Kombatants pile up into their cars from earlier. They ride into the portal to their house in Edenia.

"Thank you for spending your day with us, heroes and if you ever need us please call." She says handing Raiden a scripted card which says "If wanting to contact Kynthia, please chant Kynthia Olympia Alpha…" the two foreigners disappear in a flash of silver, and the Kombatants o back to their normal lives.


End file.
